4 Reasons You Should Have Family Goals

Why is it so popular to hate on New Year’s resolutions? The annual jokes of the gym being empty by the end of the month, diets caving quickly, and failing to drop bad habits have become every bit as regular as the actual resolutions themselves. What’s the point of it? In a world where cynicism is cheap and easily found, none of us need that negativity. It’s defeatist and gives us far too easy of an excuse to bail when the going gets tough.

Instead, it’s important for us to model courage and grit for our families by setting an impactful vision. Fear of failure isn’t a reason not to set a goal. While avoiding setting goals ensures that we won’t fail at what matters most, it also guarantees that we’ll never succeed at what matters most as well. Even more important, failing to set goals means that we’ll fail to recognize God’s purpose for us in the world. In his book Visioneering, Andy Stanley wrote: “If it is God who has begun painting a picture of what could and should be on the canvas of your heart, over time you will begin to sense that to not follow through would be tantamount to an act of disobedience.”

I love that thought. Having a vision so compelling, having goals so worthwhile, that you simply can’t afford to quit.

We’re used to sales quotas, annual benchmarks, and other professional performance metrics, but far too often, we shortchange setting goals with the people who matter most- our families.

In their book Living Forward, Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy share a compelling story from Michael’s life. On a vacation, Michael and his wife Gail went snorkeling just off the beach at their hotel in Maui. Immediately, Michael and Gail were captivated by the beautiful fish, the coral reef, and the world that lived underwater. However, unbeknownst to the couple, they’d also been caught in a riptide that pulled them far out into the ocean. With nothing more than a tiny inflatable board for both of them, Michael and Gail had a massive, exhausting task ahead of them. I hope it’s not too much of a spoiler to make sure you know that they made it back.

Hyatt and Harkavy liken this experience to our lives. When we’re not paying attention, our lives tend to drift to destinations we never intended. It takes a concerted effort to go in the direction we want instead of following the whims of circumstances. Being intentional about our life goals helps to create a strategy to get where we’re wanting to go.

I’m not sharing any groundbreaking news when I say that life is packed with challenges. Some of these challenges weigh on people differently. For example, a significant part of my faith stems from the wonderment and peace I feel when I’m in nature. It’s only natural that I feel a heightened sense of concern when I learn about the effects of climate change and begin to think about my family and our future. Without vision, we tend to wallow in these concerns and twist reality to blame ourselves. Max Lucado writes in his book Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World, “We have been taught that the Christian life is a life of peace, and when we don’t have peace, we assume the problem lies within us.” When we take a step back, it’s clear that that is simply not true. However, without a plan in place and goals to reach toward, we’re left in the muck and mire of our concerns.

I learned this lesson again from Jeff Henderson in his recent book “For: A Growth Strategy for Work, An Even Better Strategy for Life.” Jeff recounted his time working at Chick-Fil-A’s corporate offices alongside Truett Cathy. After Cathy visited a Ritz-Carlton and first heard the phrase “It’s my pleasure” instead of the common “You’re welcome,” he loved it and wanted it implemented in his restaurants. The book details that Cathy did this through repetition and consistency over several years, rather than mandates. My favorite insight that Henderson shares from this portion of his book is to encourage readers to ask themselves a question every time you hear “It’s my pleasure” at Chick-Fil-A. For some of us, this might be a more frequent reminder than others (hand raise). “Am I repeating the vision as much as Truett did?”

Think of unique ways that your family can repeat your vision. Perhaps it needs to be written on a poster board, prayed about regularly, or frequently discussed at the dinner table. As Henderson writes, “Vision rarely repeated is quickly forgotten.”

Boy, I experience this one. In my role as a marketer, I regularly work remotely. Several years ago when I was in more of a production role, that often meant long hours in front of a computer screen without any human interaction. It wasn’t uncommon for me to not see or speak to a person all day. Even at the end of a day where I felt like I had been productive, I was regularly left feeling empty, like I hadn’t actually accomplished anything. I realized that it was because there wasn’t anything to accomplish. There was no checklist, no weekly or quarterly goals. I often share with my students that practices like this are kind of like when Forrest Gump played for the University of Alabama. When he started playing football, Forrest was only given the directive “RUN!” So he did… and didn’t stop despite hitting the end zone. Pause reality for a second and imagine how sad that must feel- success is impossible, you just have to work. After the initial game though, the team put safeguards in place so that Forrest knew that hitting the end zone was success.

In the same way, placing goals for your family will allow you to feel accomplished and to celebrate how far you’ve come. Do you need to pay off debt? Are you wanting to eat dinner together as a family on a regular basis? Are you wanting to save for a special purpose, like funding an adoption or fostering? Goals are important milestones so that you can stay encouraged and motivated to stay the course.