-Guest post from author Lysa TerKeurst
The only way I could fall asleep was to lie to myself.
“If you can just fall asleep, when you wake up you’ll realize this is a nightmare that will soon end.”
But that wasn’t reality. The next morning, I woke up and the devastation was there in an even more heartbreaking way. I reached across the covers and all my fears were confirmed.
My husband was gone.
Death hadn’t taken him. No, the hijacking of our normal was a slow erosion that led to an eventual landslide wiping out everything secure about our relationship.
That awful morning happened nearly three years ago. And I promised myself if I actually survived looking my greatest fears in the face, I would eventually be a voice of help and hope for others thrust into a darkness they never imagined.
So, here I am. I survived. We survived. And we’re determined to turn our battle scars into a battle cry to help others.
Whether you’re reeling from a life-altering circumstance or wrestling through something not turning out the way you thought it would, I know what it’s like to say,
“It’s not supposed to be this way.”
And I feel compelled to tell you three truths:
1.) You are not alone in wanting things to be different and asking God to change your situation.
Did you know even Jesus asked God to change His circumstances and fix what God surely could have fixed in an instant? Listen to these words of Jesus right before he was arrested and eventually crucified:
Mark 14:36. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me….”
I have found such comfort in remembering the humanity of Jesus. Yes, His divinity made him perfect, but His humanity felt the brutal weight of human hurt. He understands loneliness, betrayal, and being devastated by people He should have been able to trust. And because I know He’s felt what I feel, I know I can trust Him to lead me through my heartbreak.
2.) There is a place to attach our hope but it’s not to our desire for changed circumstances.
Though verse 36 begins with Jesus’ request for things to be different, it doesn’t end there. It concludes with the strongest statement of trusting God I can find in the whole Bible:
“… Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
In other words, Jesus had a strong desire for change. But He had an even stronger desire to trust God with it all. This is hard for a girl like me who loves to suggest to God all the ways He could fix my circumstances. But God loves me too much to do things my way. His plan is always better even if I can’t understand or see it clearly as it’s unfolding.
3.) We trust a God who allows hurt. But we also trust a God who uses hurt for good.
I don’t know the good that will come from the devastations I’ve walked through but I do know it’s in the works… somehow and in some way.
The hijacking is over. But I can’t just pick up these broken pieces, glue them back together and celebrate God shining light through the cracks. No, there aren’t broken pieces. This shattered my circumstances to dust. And you can’t glue dust. However, I now know dust happens to be one of God’s most favorite ingredients. Of all that he could have chosen to make man from, He chose dust! And into that dust He breathed brand new life! Dust doesn’t signify an end, it’s often what must be present for the new to begin.
I no longer lie to myself. Now the only way I can fall asleep at night is to speak truth. God is here. God is near. God can absolutely be trusted with it all.
If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “this isn’t turning out the way I thought it would,” Lysa TerKeurst deeply understands. That’s why she wrote her new book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way in the midst of one of the hardest seasons of her life. Purchase your copy wherever books are sold or find out more information at ItsNotSupposedToBeThisWay.com.